Dear Oz,

Some tips on computer etiquette:  1. You are not invisible.  Neither are you transparent.  You are, rather, opaque and (I apologize for having to say this so bluntly) bulky.  Consequently I cannot actually see THROUGH you to the content on my computer screen.  2. Nor can I track the movement of the cursor when you are attempting to bite it.  You may have noticed by now – although this is not yet apparent – that the cursor exists in a dimension to which cats do not have access, and therefore all of your efforts are in vain.  3. For future reference, while the most expedient path from point A to point B may in fact be a straight line, when that straight line runs over my keyboard, the resulting effects on, for instance, any extremely important term paper I may be writing, are deleterious.  4. Finally, a computer mouse is not an actual mouse, its general shape and pattern of movement notwithstanding.  Please refrain from pouncing on and making off with it.  It ceases to work quite so well when covered in carpet fuzz and cat spit.  As always, thank you for your cooperation. – Suez.  P.S.  In an effort to increase the quality of our communication, I HAVE been trying to learn your language as much as to teach you mine.  I must admit, however, that Cat, while a fairly intuitive language in the vernacular, IS puzzling in written form.  Pardon me for asking, but what DOES “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz;ibluh” mean?